Anxiety is the owner here. we are fine.
There is no cure when it comes to crippling anxiety due to things like trauma and bi polar disorder.
There is only work, daily.
How the hell have I even made it this far?
work, daily.
I hate to be out in the real world because too much public contact freaks me out
and yet, I still have a mind on over drive, while I am home, not near crowds, just me and my mind, going insane…..
work, daily.
How do I stay alive everyday?
These flashbacks and toxic thoughts are enough to take me out daily, and some days they do.
and yet I continue to breathe.
How?
work, daily.
Every single day is a battle to stay alive.
I am not suicidal.
but my bi polar mind is always telling me to end it.
cheering for me to fail.
cheering for me to fall.
anxiety is the owner here, but i don’t recall ever being for sale, but we are fine.
it says
they do not like you
they do not want you talking to them
you are a burden
you should say sorry to your parents
you will ruin your children
you are failing in life
your business is a joke and will fail
everything and everyone is better off without you
How do i live through this suffocating internal negativity everyday?
work, daily.
it never stops
until i sleep
and once i wake
it all begins again
over
and
over
and
over
and….
Exhausted daily….. from battling my own mind. it never ends.
it never will
its so hard to live like this.
I do not want sympathy
just keep in mind that you never know what a person may deal with daily.
xx
Healing Haven 