Today was scary as hell and empowering.
We went to court for our PFA.
My attorney went into the courtroom and I did not have too.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be walked out past me.
In neon yellow and shackles.
His eyes burned through my soul.
He stopped for a moment, we both locked eyes,
I looked away.
Shook to the core.
Tears to follow.
I survived.
He is only worried about selling the home where my kids and I are living,
He must need commissary for some Ramen!
How selfish.
Want to sell the home that your son is living in.
He always told me he wanted me to struggle with these kids if I ever left him.
Well, guess what, we struggled worse with you here.
At least we don’t have to be afraid anymore.
He asked my attorney about our son.
Even though time and time again he would say he never wanted him,
And that I forced him to get me pregnant.
And now, locked up, due to his own actions and bad choices,
Somehow, he still wants to hurt us.
He wants to hurt me.
He would have killed me today had he not been in shackles.
He will try to kill me someday if he ever gets out.
This I know to be true.
I could feel it in his eyes today.
Manic, glossy, terrifying eyes.
And I didn’t want to see him
Or allow him to see me.
But it happened anyways.
And dear soon to be ex-husband,
I hope you always remember just how I looked today.
Too good for you from the gate.
Hair done, make up on,
Black leggings, knee high boots,
Delicious, sexy, confident and strong….
A taste you will only ever have in your mind,
And never in this life again.
And nothing brings me greater peace than that.
I hope it kills you inside to think of me
Happy
Without
You.
–
Here’s to my new beginning!
XX
Healing Haven 