Ghost Ship

Depression creeps inLike an abandoned ship in the nightOver still watersThe forgotten one I feel aloneLike the shipGliding over glass like waterPossibly hauntedWhose to say? Here we areStillFreeAloneNot feeling powerfulAs we drift A crow lands upon the bow of the shipAloneBlacker than the nights skyThe sound it makes is wretchedFull of doom Where are we going?Nobody knowsAs we drift Will we end up safe?Will we end up alive?It’s a secret and a mysteryAll at once We float alongHelpless at the mercy of the waterThere is nothingWe are no whereWe just float along We come to an islandWe are the only … Continue reading Ghost Ship

I need to be here way more often…

We ended up being able to spend a long weekend in my hometown and it was nice and really so very necessary. But then here we are. Back at this place. This house. The house we may lose before I even get to sell, which would mean we walk with nothing after this total shit show. I am feeling hopeless today. I move forward 2 steps and then get pushed back 10 steps instantly. I am grateful but like, not prepared to live in my car with 2 kids and 3 cats. Obviously I would never let that happen. I … Continue reading I need to be here way more often…

Apparently tears don’t run out.

Yesterday I was told (by a man) that women are stronger than men and can endure through way more than a man can and it is simply because women cry more. We cry more. I don’t know about other women but I cry A LOT. probably way more than a normal woman should. I cry when I am hurt I cry when I am sad I cry when I think about how I was basically cheated out of a life I cry when I think of death I cry when I think of losing the people that I love I … Continue reading Apparently tears don’t run out.

in short. don’t give up. you can’t.

What do you do When you feel like you don’t belong Like a lost dog. And feel so trapped at the same time. Like trying to climb out from a hole that has no bottom, that you can’t seem to get out of. Clawing at the dirt… All while it keeps caving in on you…. Suffocating.   This life is forcing me to use strength That I never knew I had There is no “call home” Whenever things get bad. There is no savior.   Just me.   Fighting this battle. Alone. After what I thought I knew Turned out … Continue reading in short. don’t give up. you can’t.